


Spider-Men: Once and Future

by d0d0bird



Series: Marvel: Tales to Tantalize! [51]
Category: Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Amadeus Cho is a Little Shit, Amadeus Cho is a Mess, Angry Jessica Jones, Angst, Angst and Humor, BAMF Jessica Jones, Beating, Big Sister Jessica Jones, Embarrassment, Evil Olivia Octavius, Exposed Underwear, F/M, Gen, Guys Crying, Humiliation, Humor, Its Not a Literal Adoption But Still, Jessica Jones Adopts Peter Parker, Light Angst, Magic, Messy, Mind Manipulation, Minor Peter Parker/Cindy Moon, Peter B. Parker is a Mess, Peter Parker Actually Treats Mary Jane Like a Human Being, Poly, Polyamorous Character, Polyamorous Peter Parker, Polyamory, Ridicule, Swirlies, Time Travel, ripped pants, swirly, wedgie, wedgies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:07:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27674474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/d0d0bird/pseuds/d0d0bird
Summary: Time travelling mishaps have brought Peter B. Parker to Peter Parker’s timeline with no easy way out. Peter and his friends work on finding a way home for Peter B. while getting insight who Peter might become in the future.
Relationships: Peter B. Parker/Mary Jane Watson, Peter Parker/Mary Jane Watson
Series: Marvel: Tales to Tantalize! [51]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1507763
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	Spider-Men: Once and Future

“I’m sorry,” said Peter, shaking her head, “ _Who_ are you?”

“I told you,” said the more disheveled Spider-Man, “I’m Peter Parker. I’m going to guess you are too?”

“Um… Yeah.”

Peter, Jessica, and Cindy had just finished stopping a robot Mysterio from the future alongside Miles Morales from the same future. Upon Miles’s return, this strange older version of Peter had tumbled out of the same place.*

*In [Spider-Man: Legacy](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27458896)

“So I’m in the past,” concluded the other Spider-Man, “I see.”

“Great,” sighed Jessica, “Now we have to deal with whoever this guy is.”

“I told you,” he said again, “I’m Peter Parker.”

“Yeah, that’s not gonna fly,” said Jessica, “We already have a Peter Parker.”

“Alright,” shrugged the man, “My middle name is Benjamin. I guess I can be Peter B. Parker?”

“Peter B., huh?” said Jessica.

“Works for me!” said Cindy.

“Wait,” said Peter, “but my middle name is Benjamin too!”

“Too bad,” said Jessica, “Now you’re Peter and he’s Peter B. Problem solved.”

“What year is it exactly?” asked Peter B.

“2020,” said Silk, “but this can’t be right. Miles said Peter died 12 years before he went back in time in 2038. That would mean he died in 2026. If you’ve really been Spider-Man for 22 years… You should be dead.”

“You figured that out quickly,” noted Jessica.

“I’m good with numbers,” shrugged Cindy.

“Well I’m also from 2038,” said Peter B., “but last time I checked, I was alive.”

“Alternate timelines,” realized Peter.

“Wait, wait, wait,” said Jessica, shaking her head in confusion, “How the hell did you get here?”

“Well,” recalled Peter B., “I was fighting Dr. Doom when he fled into a time stream. I jumped in after him but found myself in this weird tunnel. I went through the first exit I could find and here I am.”

“He must have entered through the same temporal path that Miles used to leave,” concluded Peter.

“That would make sense,” nodded Peter B., “I just figured I got thrown into a random time period. It makes sense that it would be a point where someone had already returned from the- Wait, did say the temporal path he used to _leave_? He didn’t take his time machine with him, did he?”

“He did,” said Cindy, “Why?”

“NO!” cried out Peter B. suddenly, turning around and looking frantically around, “No, no, no!”

“What’s going on?” asked Jessica.

“Time travel won’t be invented for years!” cried out Peter B., “If this timeline even develops it at all! Without that time machine, I have no way back!”

“Wait a minute,” began Jessica, still trying to grasp what was going on.

“Wait!” realized Peter B., “Maybe the temporal path left some sort of residue! Maybe can still…”

Peter B. began leaping about, waving his arms and kicking his legs.

“...what are you doing?” asked Jessica.

“Looking for a temporal path!” he said, firing a web to the ceiling and swinging about.

“By flailing around like an idiot?”

“There’s gotta be one around here somewhere.”

“No offense, Peter,” whispered Jessica, “but it looks like you turn into kind of an idiot.”

“Better than being dead,” sighed Peter, recalling the fate of Peter Parker in Mile’s timeline.

“NO!” yelled Peter B. into the air, “Come on!!”

“Um…” muttered Cindy, “Peter B.?”

Peter B. let out a groan of frustration as he punched the metal wall beside him, leaving a sizable dent. He stared at it solemnly for a minute before shaking his head dismissively. 

“Don’t worry,” assured Peter, “We’ll find a way to get you home.”

“You know something?” smiled Peter B. widely, “Don’t worry about it!”

“What?”

“Yeah!” continued Peter B. cheerily, “No use trying to do the impossible, right?”

“Wait,” said Jessica, “That was a quick turnaround. How do you know for sure-?”

“How are the burritos in this timeline?” asked Peter B.

***

Peter, Peter B., Jessica, and Cindy all sat at a table in the corner of Miguel’s, a Mexican fast food restaurant. Peter and Cindy sat across from Jessica and Peter B., the latter of which was hungrily and loudly scarfing down his long awaited burrito. Jessica looked at him with a hint of disgust.

Jessica had gone into a thrift store and grabbed a large green trench coat, some old boots, and a pair of grey sweatpants for Peter B. to wear over his costume to hide his spider suit. Peter and Cindy had changed back into normal outfits, watching uncomfortably as Peter B. ate.

“So what’s next?” asked Cindy as Peter B. finished his meal.

“Well I’m good for now,” sighed Peter B. in satisfaction, “but if you guys want coffee or something, I’m happy to-”

“I meant with getting back to your time.”

“Oh,” realized Peter B., “don’t worry about it.”

“We want to help,” insisted Peter, “We got someone back to the future once, we can do it again.”

“But you said they brought their own time machine with them,” said Peter B., wiping his face, “I didn’t. So unless one of you wants to figure out the secret to time travel, we’ve got some waiting to do until I can get home.”

“You seem pretty relaxed about the whole thing,” said Jessica.

“So are you two, like, an item?” asked Peter B., gesturing to Peter and Cindy, “Because I don’t remember her.”

“Um, yeah,” said Peter uncomfortably, “Are you sure you don’t want to try to get back?”

“It’ll work itself out,” dismissed Peter B.

“Are you sure about that?” asked Jessica, visibly impatient.

“So have you two had kids yet?” asked Peter B.

“Oh,” blushed Cindy, “No, it’s not… We’re not… We’re not that kind of item.”

“Casual, huh?” winked Peter B., “I like it. Good for you two. Marriage isn’t for everyone, after all- Hey!”

Jessica had grabbed Peter B.’s wrist and looked closely at his hand. She saw the wedding ring on it just before Peter B. pulled it away.

“I guess it is for you, though,” said Jessica.

“Yeah,” said Peter B., “but I know not everyone can find their Mary Jane Watson.”

“MJ and I get married!?” asked Peter excitedly.

“Oh,” said Peter B., slightly distant, “Yeah. We were already married by the time I was your age though.”

“That seems fast,” said Peter.

“Didn’t you confess your love to her after your first date?” Jessica asked Peter.

Peter blushed.

“Well, when you’ve got a kid,” said Peter B., “being married makes everything easier. We probably would have waited otherwise.”

“A kid!?” smiled Peter, “MJ and I have a kid?!”

“Yeah,” said Peter B. quietly, “Well, she’s not exactly a kid anymore.”

“You have a daughter waiting for you and you STILL don’t want to try to find a way back!?” demanded Jessica, “Seriously!?”

“Um,” muttered Peter B. uncomfortably, “What do you guys say we go find that coffee, huh?”

“No, wait-!” began Jessica, but Peter B. had already gotten up and walked out of the restaurant.

Jessica, Cindy, and Peter looked at one another. Then they all hurried after Peter B. It was pretty late at night by this point. Miguel’s stayed open late, but not much else around that part of town did. The streets and sidewalks were mostly empty. The trio caught up with Peter B., who was pointedly avoiding eye contact.

“What’s going on?” asked Peter.

“Nothing,” said Peter B., “Just getting that coffee.”

“Come on,” insisted Cindy, “Work with us! We can help you get back to your daughter.”

“It’s not happening,” said Peter B. plainly, turning on his heel to give them an intense look, “So please, just stop-”

Peter B. didn’t get to finish his sentence, because that’s when Jessica’s fist collided with his face. The disheveled man flew backwards, hitting a set of garbage cans and landing in a heap with the trash inside. Both Peter and Cindy stared at Jessica in disbelief as she glared daggers into the man laid out before her.

“What the hell is wrong with you!?” she demanded.

“Jessica,” cautioned Cindy quietly, but Jessica dismissed her with a hand wave.

“I’m sick of humoring you!” she continued, “I don’t know what happened to you to make you such an insufferable jackass, but I’ve had enough of it! You’re supposed to be a hero, for crying out loud! But here you are scarfing down burritos and sipping coffee while your own wife and daughter go on without their husband and father! You might have lost them and you’re just giving up? THAT’S NOT THE KIND OF MAN PETER PARKER IS!!!”

“Jessica…” whispered Peter, having rarely seen her so impassioned.

Then they heard sniffling. Then sobbing. Peter B. looked up at them, his face a red mess of tears and snot. He wiped it off on the sleeve of his coat as Jessica looked away uncomfortably. Cindy and Peter frowned in empathy and confusion.

“What are you talking about?” he cried, “Of course that’s the kind of man I am! Look at me! I couldn’t stop the bad guy, I can’t get back to my family, hell, I can’t even stay in shape! So stop wasting your time on me! I know I’m a pathetic failure! I don’t deserve your help. I don’t even deserve MJ or Mayday…”

“Mayday?” asked Peter.

“My daughter...” said Peter B. quietly, “She only just started college. I’m never going to get to see her graduate or fall in love or-”

“Hey, hey, hey,” assured Cindy, kneeling beside Peter B., “It’s okay, it’s okay. We’ll figure this out.”

“...how?” asked Peter B. after a moment.

“The way you always do,” said Jessica, offering her hand to him, “by being Spider-Man.”

Peter B. wiped his snot on his sleeve, smiled up at them, nodded, and took Jessica’s hand. She pulled him to his feet. Then she wiped her hand on her pants for good measure.

“Thank you,” said Peter B. to Jessica, “I… guess I kinda had that coming, huh?”

“You’re just lucky she didn’t give you a wedgie,” chuckled Peter.

***

“Alright,” sighed Jessica, pushing her hair out of her face, “This is what we’ve got.”

Jessica backed away from the whiteboard, revealing the list of the world’s most successful and prolific physicists. She had also added a few names at Peter B.’s request, ancestors of people who would study time travel in his timeline. Names on the list included Reed Richards, Demetrius Williams, Bruce Banner, and Hope Pym. The whiteboard sat at the far end of Jessica’s apartment as she, Peter B., and Cindy looked at it with contemplation.

“Hey guys,” said Peter, entering the apartment from the hallway, “That was MJ. She says she’ll be by soon if that’s alright. I think she can help.”

“Sure,” said Jessica.

“MJ?” considered Peter B., “That’s going to be… Odd.”

“I can tell her to stay home,” offered Peter.

“No, it’s fine,” said Peter B., “If she’s anything like my MJ, I’m happy to have her help. Does she know about…?”

“Yeah,” said Peter, “I told her about you.”

“Jen could probably put us in contact with Bruce,” said Jessica, “I’ll shoot her a text.”

“Who is Demetrius Williams?” asked Peter.

“His daughter becomes the greatest engineer of her generation,” explained Peter B., “She completely revolutionizes most fields of science.”

“And her dad?”

“All I know is his name,” shrugged Peter B. with a frown.

“I can’t imagine how we’d get into contact with Pym or Richards,” said Cindy.

“Maybe we can’t,” considered Peter, “but I bet Spider-Man could.”

“How loudly do we want to broadcast that he’s here?” asked Jessica, pointing a thumb at Peter B., “Because even if we can get an audience with either of those two, I wouldn’t trust them not to go public with it.”

“I don’t know a LOT about time travel,” admitted Peter B., “but from what I understand, the less people know about me, the better.”

They continued to bounce ideas off one another and debated their approaches. This continued for almost an hour. Then they heard the knock at the door and Peter went to answer it. Mary Jane was on the other side. The moment Mary Jane and Peter B. made eye contact they both reacted. Mary Jane gasped in disbelief. Peter B. shifted around uncomfortably.

“Oh my God…” whispered Mary Jane, “Peter… Is this… The future you?”

“Yeah,” said Peter, “but that’s not necessarily what I’ll… Just because he looks that way doesn’t… I mean no offense, future me, but… Um…”

“What do you mean?” asked Mary Jane.

Peter B. sighed sadly and opened his green trench coat. He gestured to his gut bulging through the shirt of his spider suit and straining the waistband of the sweatpants he was wearing over it.

“Wow,” smiled Mary Jane, turning to her Peter, “So you could go from twink to bear when you get older?”

“I’d say he’s more of a cub,” smirked Jessica.

Peter B. blushed and rubbed his neck uncomfortably.

“That is so…” began Mary Jane, “HOT!”

“What?” responded Peter in confusion.

“Peter,” said Mary Jane, looking Peter B. up and down, “You ROCK the dad bod. Seriously, it really works for you. The facial hair is sexy too!”

“Um…” muttered Peter B., backing away awkwardly.

“Sorry,” realized Mary Jane with a laugh, “I didn’t mean to interrupt. How can I help?”

“We’re putting together a list of people who might be able to help us get Peter B. back,” explained Cindy, nodding her head to the whiteboard, “This is who we’ve come up with so far.”

Mary Jane walked over and examined the list closely. After a moment of consideration she stood up straight and turned back.

“These are all scientists,” she noted.

“Yeah,” said Jessica, “Those are generally the best people to deal with scientific problems?”

“What about someone mystical? What about Loki?” she suggested.

“Loki??” responded both Peter and Jessica.

“Yeah,” said Mary Jane, “He has a lot of weird powers, right?”

The group all looked at one another.

“It’s worth a shot,” acknowledged Jessica.

“I’ll text Thor,” said Peter.

***

“I’m just saying,” grumbled Peter B., “It’s a little insulting.”

“Did you WANT them to keep you from coming in?” asked Jessica, “You didn’t bring your I.D. through the time machine, did you?”

“No,” admitted Peter B., “but I do feel like if you card 4 out of 5 people in a group, the least you can do is make the 5th guy feel good about himself.”

“I hate this place already,” sighed Cindy.

Thor had gotten ahold of Loki and set up a place for the group to meet her. They had gone to an upscale martini bar in Manhattan. They hadn’t changed, so they were by far the least formally dressed people in the room. Peter B. in particular was drawing a lot of looks on account of his unkempt facial hair and sweatpants.

The group spotted Loki pretty quickly. By contrast with them, she looked right at home here. She wore a sparkling green cocktail dress, black tights, gold heels, gold bracelets and matching necklace, emerald earrings, and makeup as sharp as always with black lipstick and matching eyeshadow. She sipped her gin and tonic and winked at them when they walked in. They approached her.

“Well, well, well,” she mused, “Peter the Quick, I didn’t know your dad was in the family business.”

“I’m not-”

“I figured,” said Loki, looking him up and down, “Don’t tell me though, let me guess… Poorly made disguise gone wrong...? No, no one would be interested in disguising themself as that. Rapidly aged clone...? No, too many facial variations for identical genetics. Hm… Oh! You’re Peter from an alternate universe!”

“Close,” said Peter B., “Alternate timeline.”

“Damn!” cursed Loki, “I always mix those two up.”

“Wait,” said Jessica, “You DO know about time travel?”

“What?” scoffed Loki with a smile, “No! I was just listing random ideas. You were being serious?”

Peter B. nodded.

“You can cast illusory spells that affect perceptions of time, right?,” said Peter, “You know, like you did with Thor and Black Cat?”

“My illusions are just that: illusions,” said Loki, “It doesn’t affect time, it affects your _perception_ of time. I can control what you experience in the illusion all I want, but in the real world you’re still just a sleeping body.”

“So you don’t know anything about it?” asked Peter exasperatedly.

“Not personally,” she said, “but there was that Cho fellow from S.H.I.E.L.D. Hill had him working on something big.”

“You think he might know?” clarified Jessica.

“I’d say he’s your best shot,” said Loki, “The best one that I know of, anyway.”

“Do you know where he ended up after S.H.I.E.L.D. fell?*” asked Peter.

*In [Avengers: The Mighty](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24115987)

“Indeed I do,” smiled Loki, procuring a small business card from a green flash, “Here.”

Jessica plucked the card out of Loki’s hand, reading the address listed. She looked back up at Loki in suspicion.

“What’s the catch?” she asked.

“Jessica!” said Loki, feigning offense, “Don’t you trust me to do a favor for my friends?”

“We’re not friends,” said Jessica sternly.

“Ouch,” frowned Loki.

“Whatever,” said Jessica, turning to leave, “Come on, guys.”

Jessica didn’t trust Loki even a little. The goddess was disloyal by nature, not to mention incredibly unpredictable. She had been instrumental in both humiliating Peter off the Avengers* and saving the world from Octavius’s control over S.H.I.E.L.D. Jessica wasn’t going to bother trying to win her over; her allegiance seemed to be determined by coin toss anyway.

On their way out, the group passed a delightfully shrieking bridal party on their way in. Loki took note of this and smiled to herself.

“Hey, Hobo Peter!” called out Loki.

“Hm?” asked Peter B., turning back to her.

“Your boot’s untied.”

“Thanks!”

As Peter B. bent over to tie his boot, Loki pointed at himt. The trench coat was flipped up to uncover his sweatpants-clad butt. At the same moment, a split appeared in the seam at the center of the seat of the sweatpants and spider suit underneath. The result was a wide rip opening up to reveal Peter B.’s white undies underneath. The embarrassed time traveller quickly stood up straight and covered his butt with his coat. The bridal party had already noticed though, and most of them were pointing and laughing.

“Hey!” cried out Peter B. indignantly, red in the face. 

Peter B. looked around in embarrassment, pressing his lips together tightly in social discomfort. Peter found himself blushing brightly himself. There was a special kind of embarrassment in seeing an older version of oneself humiliated.

“Okay,” said Loki to herself, “There’s your catch.”

“Come on!” urged Jessica impatiently, grabbing Peter B. by the arm and dragging him out as the others followed.

***

Amadeus tossed another kernel of popcorn into his mouth as he deftly moved and clicked his mouse at unbelievable speeds. His eyes darted around the monitor as his score climbed higher and higher. He neared the end of the match. Closer… Closer…

“Yes!” cheered Amadeus, pumping both of his fists into the air in triumph.

His team had won again. That made for three in a row now. He leaned back in his chair, proudly contemplating his victory. After a few seconds of this he was interrupted by a voice from above him.

“Ammy!” called his mother, “Some friends are here to see you!”

“What?” Amadeus quietly asked himself in confusion.

Following the dissolution of S.H.I.E.L.D., Amadeus had found himself out of work. He had been paid extremely well prior to that, but poor spending choices quickly depleted his money as he made it. He was left with no savings afterward, not to mention almost as little dignity after Octavius’s humiliation of him.

He had moved back in with his mother, unable to pay his own rent. Since doing so he had reverted to his old habits of spending most of his time playing video games in the basement. He hadn’t yet begun to find another job, but he figured he’d just get one when the desire struck him.

“Friends was a generous claim,” sighed Amadeus as he saw Jessica, Peter, Peter B., Cindy, and Mary Jane coming down the stairs, “To what do I owe the pleasure? And why’d Spider-Man bring his dad?”

“I’m getting real tired of explaining this,” muttered Jessica.

Mary Jane and Cindy introduced themselves. Following that, they introduced Peter B. and explained his origins.

“Huh,” said Amadeus, “Cool.”

“So do you think you can help?” asked Mary Jane.

Amadeus murmured something that sounded like “I don’t know” and turned back to his computer. Jessica promptly turned him back to face him.

“Do you know anything about time travel or not?” she demanded.

“I mean I’ve got theories,” shrugged Amadeus, “Everyone does. I never got around to testing any of mine though. I’m sure I’ll get to it eventually.”

“Now would be nice,” continued Jessica.

“Eh.”

“Wait a minute,” said Peter, “You have theories regarding time travel that you can quantifiably test? And you haven’t done those tests? Aren’t you even a bit curious?”

“I’m more curious if I can unlock some top tier weapons,” said Amadeus, turning back to his computer again. Jessica again turned him back.

“Listen, twerp,” she said angrily, “our friend here is looking for a way home and if there’s any way you can help, you’d better damn well do it.”

“Or what?” dared Amadeus.

Peter sighed. Amadeus and Jessica had only briefly met, shortly after the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D. when everyone was giving their testimonies. Apparently he hadn’t picked up on the kind of person that she was, or he would have known what a stupid idea it was to say that.

“Alright,” said Jessica, cracking her knuckles, “What’s it going to be? Wedgie or swirly?”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Both it is then.”

“No, wait!”

Jessica had already grabbed Amadeus by the top of his hair and yanked him up and off his chair. She proceeded to drag him towards the nearest bathroom as he clutched at her arm to ease the pressure on his hair. He continued his pleas of protest until they were drowned out by the bubbling and flushing of the toilet.

Jessica had shoved his forehead and eyes into the water, allowing him to still breath but soaking his hair with toilet water and filling his nose with the stench of it. Jessica then used her free hand to reach into the back of his pants, grab his purple boxer briefs, and him up into the air. Amadeus clutched onto the toilet bowl as his legs and butt were hoisted up and off the ground. Jessica then bounced him twice for good measure. Amadeus winced with each one, feeling it crush his balls and cut into his butt.

“Alright!” he pleaded, “Alright, alright! I’ll do it!”

Jessica tossed him aside, leaving him dripping wet on the bathroom floor. The others watched in a mix of sympathy and disgust as Amadeus slowly rose to his feet and used the nearby towel to dry the toilet water out of his hair and face. Then he shoved his bunched up undies back into his pants and dislodged them from his butt.

“Come on,” he said with almost a pout, walking back to his desk.

The others gathered around Amadeus as he logged onto his computer. They all watched the screen intently.

“You can test the mathematics of time travel on this thing?” asked Jessica doubtfully, eyeing the small desktop.

“No,” said Amadeus, “but I can use it to bypass the CIA’s security and remotely access their computers. One of them can test this for sure.”

“Remind me why you’re choosing to stay in your mom’s basement again?” asked Cindy.

“Eh,” shrugged Amadeus, “Nothing else really appeals to me at the moment. Lucky for you, I guess. It means I’m free to do this.”

“Are you in yet?” asked Peter B. anxiously.

“Oh yeah,” said Amadeus, “I’m actually already running the simulations. They should be done in- Crap. One second.”

Amadeus stared closely at his keyboard and retyped the equation more slowly. He then double checked it on the screen and hit enter.

“Crap!” cursed Amadeus, “What’s going on?”

He typed again.

“Crap!”

“Great,” sighed Jessica.

“Shut up!” protested Amadeus indignantly.

“Don’t worry,” said Jessica snidely, “Lots of guys have problems with this.”

“This never happens, I swear!” said Amadeus, before wincing and adding, “Crap! That came out wrong.”

“Can you get me home or can’t you?” asked Peter B.

“Can’t,” said Amadeus, “at least not for a long time. I’m missing part of the code.”

“Missing?” asked Cindy, “Aren’t you the one who wrote it?”

“Not exactly,” admitted Amadeus, “I… kinda borrowed it.”

“...what?” asked Jessica, containing her anger.

“I mean I added to it too!” he said defensively, “But I didn’t write all of it. I must have missed a crucial piece of the equation. I can keep trying to figure it out, but that could take months or even years.”

Peter B. looked down sadly.

“Who wrote the rest of it?” asked Peter, “Maybe we can get their help.”

“You’re not going to like the answer…” warned Amadeus.

***

“Grub’s up!” shouted the guard.

Olivia Octavius looked over and accepted the tray of microwaved food the guard handed through the slot. She delicately placed it on her cell’s bed, sat beside it, picked up a fork and knife, and began to eat. She had only taken a few bites before she noticed that the guard was still there.

“Come on,” said the guard through the slot with a smile, “Say something for me!”

Olivia glared at the man and returned to eating.

“Come on!” repeated the guard, “Just a few words! I want to hear it!”

Olivia attempted to ignore him, trying to instead focus on her mostly tasteless meal.

“Pleeeeeease?” begged the guard.

“Would you give it a rest!?” squealed Olivia in her high-pitched voice.

“Hahahaha!” guffawed the guard walking away, “Yes! That’s it! That’s rich.”

Olivia growled as she turned red with indignance. Since the ungodly wedgie she had received from She-Hulk, Olivia’s voice had been permanently stuck at a higher register. Now every time she spoke it served as a reminder to everyone that she had been the victim of a gamma-strength wedgie. The guards never hesitated to bring it up or point it out either. 

Olivia couldn’t stand it. She was the greatest scientific genius in the world and here she was eating frozen food in a prison cell being humiliated on a daily basis. One day she’d escape and everyone who wronged her would pay.

“Ms. Octavius?” asked a woman from the other side of the door.

Olivia dared not respond again. Though she despised being referred to as ‘Ms.’ rather than ‘doctor.’

“Ms. Octavius,” repeated the woman, “I’m Agent Serrure with the CIA.”

Olivia got up and approached the door. She looked through the slot and saw a woman with long, dark hair and green eyes. She was wearing a sharp black suit with an emerald tie. Once they had made eye contact, the woman opened the door and gestured for Olivia to follow her. Olivia dutifully followed. What did the CIA want with her? The odds were likely it was something good. Escape would certainly be easier with access to CIA technology.

“There are some folks here who wish to speak to you,” explained Agent Serrure as she led Olivia to the interrogation room, “I expect you’ll like what they have to say.”

Agent Serrure opened the door and guided Olivia in before shutting the door behind her. Olivia looked around and saw that Spider-Man, Jessica Jones, and an older chubby man in a green trench coat were present.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” squeaked Olivia.

Jessica broke out laughing. Olivia frowned indignantly and made a point not to look at Jessica.

“That really IS your voice now!” she guffawed, “That Bugle article was right!*”

*As seen in [Daily Bugle Report: Getting the Story](URL)

“Yes, yes,” chirped Olivia, “High pitched voice, very funny. Haha. What is it that you-?”

“I’m sorry,” gasped Jessica between laughs, “I… I… I can’t! That voice!”

Olivia sighed in frustration, waiting for Jessica to stop. When she finally did Olivia began to speak again.

“What is it that-”

Jessica broke out into another fit of laughter.

“Sorry!” she guffawed, “I just CANNOT take you seriously!”

“What do you want!?” squealed Olivia.

“These look familiar to you?” asked Peter, tossing a notebook to Olivia.

Olivia flipped through the notebook. Indeed, it looked familiar. The equation, which lasted the length of the notebook, was actually part of a proof Olivia had come up with to prove the possibility of time travel. It was missing pieces though.

“Maybe,” she squeaked.

Jessica cupped both hands over her mouth to keep from laughing. Peter gave her a dirty look.

“Listen,” said the man in the trench coat, “I’ll level with you. Time travel is real. I’m from 2038 where it’s already been proven and used. The problem is, I’m stuck here. What I need is a way back.”

“And you want my help,” squeaked Olivia.

“Yes,” conceded Peter B., “Amadeus found your notes. Not all of them, but some of them. He says everything he has works, but he’s missing part of the equation. Do you have it?”

Olivia tapped her temple with her index finger.

“Yes,” she squeaked, “but it’s all up here. If you want my help, you need _me_. That’s my only condition. I don’t give you the equation, you let me test my equation myself.”

The trio looked at one another.

“Deal,” said Peter, “We’ll talk to Agent Serrure about making it happen.”

***

“Nice place,” mused Amadeus as he walked in.

Olivia mumbled in response. She was not happy to be working for Amadeus again.

The group had entered Olivia’s old lab, which she hadn’t been to since her, Quentin Beck, and Herman Schultz’s defeat at the hands of Squirrel Girl.* The large, dark room was originally a marine biology lab before it was abandoned. Olivia had taken it for herself and used it as her headquarters and workshop.

*In [Supervillan Team Up: Lowering Your Standards](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21721564)

“I never got the chance to test my equation,” said Olivia, “I finished it while still in S.H.I.E.L.D.'s custody. This will be exciting!”

“Just make sure it works,” said Jessica.

Olivia approached her old computer, dusted off the massive keyboard, and began to boot it up again. Once she did, she activated the rest of the lab. Lights burst on across the room and a door on the far end of the lab began to rise. On the other side of it was a wide metal podium with a huge arch over it. Small computers were mounted on small posts around the podium.

“You already started building it,” realized Amadeus.

“Started?” scoffed Olivia, “It’s built already. The only thing missing was the programming. That’s what the equation is for.”

“Well get to it already,” ordered Jessica impatiently, “We’re not paying you by the hour.”

“You’re not paying me at all,” squeaked Olivia, “Maybe I don’t feel like working right now. You sound pretty desperate. Are you sure you want to make me mad? I _am_ your only chance at this, after all.”

“You think if I give her another massive wedgie her voice will return to normal?” asked Jessica, “Or will it just keep getting higher until it’s like a dog whistle?”

“Alright, alright!” conceded Olivia fearfully, “I’ll get to work.”

Olivia approached the small computers surrounding the device. One by one she powered them up, punched in the equation, ran the simulation, and then powered it down. Once she did that with all of them she turned them on again, this time powering up the whole ring. Amadeus wandered up to the device and looked at some of the monitors himself. Then he suddenly became distressed.

“Those coordinates!” he realized, “Guys, she’s not taking Peter B. home! She’s trying to escape!”

Olivia, knowing her plot had been revealed, powered up the gate. The arch filled with a white light, but before Olivia could enter it she felt Jessica grab her by the back of her prison jumpsuit and flung her across to the other end of the room. Olivia slammed into the wall and landed on her side, moaning.

“Nice try, nerd!” yelled Jessica angrily, marching toward her, “But you just made a big mistake.”

Olivia smirked. She opened a hatch on the device next to her and hit the red button. A larger hatch on the ceiling opened up. One of Olivia’s tentacle harnesses crawled out of it like a spider, skittering along the ceiling and making its way to Olivia. It leapt down onto her and attached to her, granting her tentacles once again.

“Hahahaha!” she laughed, “It was you who made the mistake, fools! I was one step ahead of you from the start!”

“You still sound like a chipmunk.”

“SILENCE!”

Olivia marched forward on her tentacles, effortlessly knocking Jessica aside. Peter came at her next, swinging toward her on a web. She flung a tentacle out and ensnared him by wrapping it around his body, squeezing tighter and tighter until he began to cough. Peter B. leapt at her from the other direction, but she used another two tentacles to hold down either of his arms, pulling them outward until he began to cry out in pain.

“Even two of you spiders are no match for me!” squealed Olivia with glee, tossing both of them aside and continuing her race for the device.

Suddenly Olivia felt herself held back. Her tentacles strained to carry her forward, but something was pulling her backward. She looked over her shoulder to see Cindy had fired a web from every one of her fingers onto the back of Olivia’s harness. Now Cindy was pulling back on them, keeping Olivia from moving forward.

“Three spiders?” squeaked Olivia, “Now that’s just excessive.”

Olivia planted all of her tentacles into the floor. Then she twisted herself as much as possible, coiling the web around her body and reeling a surprised Cindy inward. Though this resulted in webbing wrapping around Olivia and holding down her arms, her tentacles were free for one of them to strike Cindy in the head as she flew toward her, knocking her out cold. Olivia then plucked the webbing off her with the tentacles.

Olivia spun around to the device. Amadeus was cowering in the corner behind it, terrified of what Olivia would do to him. Olivia took a moment to relish that feeling. Then she took her chance to gloat.

“Nice try, heroes!” she cackled at sharply high pitch, “But today is MY day!”

Olivia swooped herself down and into the gateway. Finally! She was free. She left that entire miserable universe behind her. Now she’d be able to start her studies again in a new reality, one that wasn’t aware of her sinister intentions. If they caught onto her, she’d just jump realities again and start over. This was it. She had won.

“Hahahahahaha!” cackled Olivia, lying on the floor, “Victory!”

Olivia opened her eyes and looked around. Why was she on the floor? Where was she? She looked around and recognized, to her horror, that she was back in her prison cell. She looked over and saw the half-eaten microwave meal on her bed. Had it just been a dream? Impossible! No! She had come so close!

“Noooooooooooooooo!” she squealed, shaking her fists at the sky, “I will have my reveeeeeeeenge!”

***

“Nice one, Loki!” smiled Mary Jane.

“I’m just happy to be of assistance.”

Loki had monitored Olivia’s actions throughout the entire illusion. He memorized important bits of information and passed them on to the heroes. Such information included the location of Olivia’s lab and already-built time machine as well as the equations she had punched in to get them to work.

“Something tells me there’s more to it than that,” scoffed Jessica, “but you’ve been a help nonetheless.”

Peter, Peter B., Cindy, Jessica, Mary Jane, Loki, and Amadeus were gathered in Olivia’s abandoned lab. They had found the hidden device and Amadeus set about programming it to take Peter B. home.

“Thank you everyone,” said Peter B., “It means a lot that you all worked hard to make this happen. You didn’t have to.”

“Especially you, Jessica,” he added, “That punch in the jaw really helped me come to my senses. I was being an idiot.”

“Yeah,” sneered Jessica, “you were.”

“Alright!” announced Amadeus, “Coordinates are set! It’ll be a crude hole in space-time, but since you fell out of a timestream I can piggyback on that and get you to your home timeline. You ready?”

“Yeah,” nodded Peter B., “just about.”

“Think you’ll visit sometime?” smirked Cindy.

“I’ll see what I can do,” chuckled Peter B., “Time travel still isn’t exactly widely available yet in my timeline.”

“Gonna miss the view,” grinned Mary Jane, looking Peter B. up and down.

“I… Uh…” said Peter B., “Why don’t you wait and direct that energy at _your_ Peter when he gets to be my age, huh?”

Mary Jane nodded with a smile. She understood why Peter B. might not want a significantly younger version of his wife flirting with him.

“So what do you think?” Peter B. asked Peter, “You’ve seen two different outcomes for yourself now. How does that feel?”

“I don’t care,” said Peter confidently, “It’s not going to change what I do. My future is mine and whether it contains old age or death, I’ll welcome it!”

“Old age?” asked Peter B., insulted.

“The one thing I know for sure is that I’m going to keep being Spider-Man,” continued Peter, “I’ve never let certain death stop me before, so I’m not going to let one lousy timeline work me up now.”

“Good on ya,” said Peter B., clasping a hand onto Peter’s shoulder, “I would say I’m proud of you, but I don’t think it really works that way.”

“Hey,” shrugged Mary Jane, “You two could both use a little more pride in yourselves. Maybe that’s exactly how it works.”

Peter and Peter B. smiled at one another. 

“Alright,” said Peter B., “Let’s do this.”

Amadeus punched in the final commands. The archway lit up with white light. Amadeus smiled and pumped both fists into the air. Peter B. pulled his mask back on. Then he slowly walked up and into the portal. He felt the painful impact of being struck by a heavy suit of armor, sending him falling toward an exit from the white light.

Peter B. grunted as he landed on the stone floor. He got to his feet and looked up to see the slipstream hole Dr. Doom had fled into. A moment later, his armor-clad body was dumped onto the floor not far from Peter B.

“Curses!” cried Doom, pounding the ground, “Something knocked me out of the slipstream! It must have been a crudely constructed pathway of some sort.”

“Hey Doomy!” taunted Peter B., “Sorry your toy didn’t work! Now, where were we?”

“Fool!” roared Doom, “I have suffered the indignity of your japes for the last time! You will die here and now!”

Peter B. readied himself to fight. He’d make it. He had a wife and daughter to return home to. He wasn’t going to let anything stop him from getting to them. 

***

Amadeus kicked at the floor over and over again, slowly rolling his chair across the length of the empty lab as he stared at the ceiling. No one else was there.

It really was a nice lab. Some of the equipment was even more advanced than what Amadeus had access to at the Triskelion. There was no telling what sorts of discoveries he could make with this place.

_Eh,_ thought Amadeus, _Do I really want to, though?_

He contemplated that for a moment. He did like his current living situation. He could always find his own place when he needed it. What did he have to gain from a room full of computers anyway? It’s not like he’d care about any of the discoveries he’d make if he made them.

He eyed the time machine. Even that seemed rather droll. The only reason he got it to work is because there was temporal distortion energy on the other side of the destination. Without it, there was no way to move forward or backward through time. It would just disperse the energy across the fourth dimensional plane-

“That’s it!” declared Amadeus suddenly, leaping to his feet.

He rushed over to the computer, where he began to test slight alterations of the equations. He smiled as the results turned up as expected over and over again. It was possible. With enough raw energy, Amadeus could punch a hole to neither the past nor the future, but to an alternate present. He could discover whole new realities!

He rushed over to the time machine to see if he could recreate the simulation with it. He began putting in the information piece by piece, finally getting ready to activate the gateway. He looked at the coordinates. They were continuously changing. The amount of raw energy it would take to punch the hole made the destination completely unpredictable. There was no telling what sort of world he’d connect to. The other side held an infinite possibility of dangers. In other words, anything could happen when he turned on the gate.

“Eh,” he shrugged, “Screw it.”

He activated the program.

**Author's Note:**

> I just love writing these crazy kids


End file.
